Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day

Mothers Day postPlease see the tabs below, all or the one(s) you most resonate with. Also see tribute below the tab sections for the tribute I have to my son and what it means to me to be his mother. 

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO YOU!

As a parent have such an important and sometimes overlooked value that is second to none. Bringing up a human life, teaching them right from wrong, wiping their tears, advising how to deal with tender challenges in a way that is always age or developmentally appropriate for the child(ren) in your life.

I hope you find motherhood to be as loving, fulfilling and honorable a place in life as I do. The moment my son and I first locked eyes, there was no longer any doubt in my mind that miracles DO happen.

I want to also send out a special GOOD ON YOU to parents of kids with disabilities or are medically fragile. This takes a toll that only those going through it know in the way you do. If you have a child with limited communication or difficult behavior, please know this is part of their biology and/or neurology, yet not at all a reflection of them not knowing and loving you. You are loved by your child/ren!

Sending you blessings and love today, as I celebrate your importance and value. 🙂

When Your Mother is Gone/Deceased

The first year may be the most surreal and profound after your mother (or other special lady) has passed on. If you are sad or in pain this year, missing her and if your beliefs allow, consider her as your angel looking over you. 

Sometimes people show up in our dreams and/or in your life in unexpected ways. Here is how this happened in my world for my son and myself after my mother passed away.

My mom loved Birds of Paradise plants. To keep her near, my son found a single “Bird” stem nearby. He put it in the dirt next to our patio door.

On my way out one day, my landscaper stopped me and asked why we had a single “bird” stem. I explained how my mother recently passed, loved that plant and it was my son’s way to keep her around us. A few hours later when I came home, the single Bird of Paradise stem was gone. In it’s place, was a medium sized bush. Channeled through our gardener, my mother’s love bloomed right before our eyes.

Birth is all about miracles, yet so are the souls that visit us in their own way…and that could be in the form of a Birds of Paradise bush, a candle, a silent prayer or anything that reminds you of the person you miss.

This post is dedicated to my mother, Resa Brenner, to my son who qualifies me as a mom, and to YOU.

 Infertility

If you’ve always wanted to be a mom, yet experience infertility, this day might tug a little at your heart. It did for me when I went through it. 

I still wish you a Happy Mother’s Day as I know that you are a mom in your heart. Not all mothers are and you deserve recognition for this on this day. It takes a lot to go through some of the medical tests and roller-coasters you do. Infertility is not for the faint of heart and I want to celebrate you today as going through this is testament to the fact that you have super-mom qualities. 

My hope for those who relate to infertility is to realize that you are every bit of a woman with or without a child who calls you mom.

You may still be a mentor in life and serve your soul in a way you wouldn’t be able to if you had a child…and also please note, that if you want a child, you still can have one.

During my infertility journey, I did not take “no” for an answer and while things did not turn out as I expected, my dream came true with a super great son. Life doesn’t always do it in our way, yet in our way, we can still fulfill our dreams.

So, again – Happy Mom’s day to you who I sense has great maternal instincts and qualities that are to be respected and celebrated.

Love and light to you dear lady!

Postpartum Depression

If you are a mom, or know a mom who currently suffers from Postpartum Depression, love them/yourself up on Mom’s Day, yet truly make it about them/you and less about the child.

This is not a choice and does not come from any lack of love. Just celebrate them/you for who they/you are as well as, as a woman and a person. Make this day about them/you in the strongest sense of self!

Would love to hear your “take” on this post – please add your related experience, comments or questions below message to my feelings toward my son on Mother’s Day…      

I want to thank my son, as without him the dream of being a mother, would not be my reality.  

It is the day of his birth that I came to believe that miracles are real. Told a few times that I would not get pregnant, I visualized I would, and did.

I felt the weight of a child in my arms daily, even though my arms appeared empty.

I went to baby showers as a sign of possibility versus a sad situation to avoid.

Some would say I manifested my son. His father and I went to fertility specialists (NOT romantic), and humor played a role. After an insemination I asked my doctor, “Was it good for you?”

So, while today is Mother’s Day, it is really a day I thank my son for giving me this lifelong position that I always craved to be in.
I also thank my son for putting up with me in my days of peri-menopause when I wasn’t just a mother, yet often quite a mothah!

Yet, this is about you.  What’s your story?

 

Facing Your FEAR’s Head On …and how to release them!

Facing Your FEAR’s Head On …and how to release them!

FEAR is an elicitor of all sorts of things, and it comes packaged in many ways. Below is two exercises to support you in releasing FEAR. Yet first, lets acknowledge that sometimes FEAR is good. 

  • shit-brains-5535251FEAR can keep you safe as an alert system not to do things like cross the road when a car is coming.
  • FEAR can motivate you to get creative or work more to find a way to rectify your life (example: pay your mortgage so you don’t lose your house).
  • FEAR can strengthen boundaries and empower you to give up unhealthy relationships, address health issues previously avoided, etc.

Sometimes it is blatant and easy to see, feel or be present to FEAR. Yet quite often, it is so insidious that we don’t even know it is present when it’s actually running our lives.

Consider FEAR unconsciously running in the background inside of you, much like the operating system of a computer. We don’t typically think about the operating system other than to turn it on (AKA open our eyes after sleep).

FEAR is like a virus that you did not intend to place on your internal hard drive, yet while you purposely work on other programs you are deliberate to click and open. These are more like the CONSCIOUS programs you use.

We become SO conditioned to FEAR that we don’t even recognize it much of the time. So, for this reason, it’s hard to recognize when it’s in action and permeating other programs inside your mind (computer).

7 common symptoms of FEAR show up as…

1.   Procrastination (physicality of lateness, incompleteness, stagnation, etc.)

2.   Obstacles / Excuses (albeit explainable ones, etc.)

3.   Overwhelm (results in mental/emotional/physical inaction)

4.   Projection (Self Talk run amuck, excuses, pull back, etc.)

5.   Illness or Injury (“Acceptable” excuses, shut-down, etc.)

6.   Negligence / Neediness (Shows up as incapability, etc.)

7.   Greed (increased appetite, over indulgence, etc.)

AND I have an exercise for you to focus on to remove your FEAR in a very simple, yet unconventional way.

Mo’ to the point:  This exercise shows you how to use your mind (thoughts), body (physical action), and soul (unconscious patterns/Beliefs).  It works when done consistently in the manner to which I suggest. Stay consciously aware as you do it to the FEAR you relate it to and you’ll understand what I mean. 

DISCLAIMER: Tasteful or not, this is a fact of life and has worked for many I’ve instructed on. If you stay open to the metaphor and process, any immediate distasteful thoughts will likely be released too.

It is what I call FACING your FEAR’s “Head On” (you’ll get the double entendre soon enough!)

Do you see it?

The red letters above form a word. This word, POOPING is the strategy to how you can release your FEAR on a physical to mental level.

Consider the analogy of how FEAR builds up within us. It can accumulate when it is not released. You can release your fears by being consciously present in an action you do daily anyhow. By staying present to the idea and to your FEAR when you do this action, you will consciously be depleting FEAR from your system.

In The 7 Common Symptoms of FEAR. The action word it forms is what you can consciously and metaphorically do to release FEAR. The added action to support that release is in your action of FLUSHING out your FEAR.

On a daily basis, when POOPING (1st letter to each word of 7 symptoms above), stay conscious to what the FEAR you’re experiencing is. You can even imagine your FEAR as the funny green gremlin in the picture below to give it some physicality, then…

toilet-gremlin1.   release it from your personal internal system, as you release it on a physical level,

2.   then you release it from your environment as you consciously to the FEAR,  flush it away.

The key here is to BE present with what you are metaphorically doing and to consciously attach it as much as possible to what you are excreting from your life. You literally remove it from your system and from your environment. Get it?!?!?!

EXAMPLE: FEAR removal of potential medical diagnosis:

Think of any disease or illness leaving your body as you are POOPING it out. Imagine it leaving your body as you release or push the sh*% out. Then flush. If it is something you FEAR, watch it disappear.

You’ve now taken control in a way you can. It’s important to note that while I can’t guarantee the diagnosis being removed that we are working on removing FEAR itself. This also does help to alleviate the #1 killer and cause of most diseases; which is stress.

BONUS TIP/Exercise that you can use anywhere and anytime to FACE any FEAR:  Look at the word FEAR itself as an acronym. Use it how it serves your concern in the most applicable way. Some ideas to match to common forms of FEAR are these, yet you can make up your own to fit a situation if one of these does not relate…

False

Expectations

Appearing

Real

Fabricated

Excuses 

Applied in

Resistance

Fast

Exit

Administered by

Running

Then REFRAME your FEAR from above with thoughts like:

Feeling

Excited to

Accept

Respect

Frequently

Exchanges

Apprehension for

Reinvention

Frequent

Exhales

Add to 

Release

…and you can reframe this in your own relevant and creative way that makes sense for you to shift your fear-based fear to FEAR-OCIOUS empowerment!

 Below, please add any REFRAMES for FEAR that you can come up with or if you’re struggling with one, comment on it below and Mo will reply with a solution, suggestion or resource for you.

Advocacy

Advocacy

head-buried-in-sand“It’s not always those we advocate for who fall through the cracks.

Sometimes it is us who advocate for them as the learning curve is long. Too often, the game books change without notice or complete transparency.

The players are inconsistent and compromised systems often keep honorable people up at night.

Out of a sense of self preservation, some well-meaning don’t last or keep up the fight. However quitting is a luxury that you, or someone you know might not have.

With acceptance, behind the curtain revelations and essential information, your journey can ease up to 98% with clarity and a relevantly-customized route.

When you learn what you are truly dealing with and how best to deal with it, the raging rivers you swim in begin to dissipate into puddles. Your world becomes less daunting and even if your feet get wet, with this chosen path, you will not drown.”

~Mo Bailey